My heart stopped. I almost couldn’t breathe. The unthinkable had happened. I knew this day would come. And what timing: there I was alone on a desert island in the Gulf of Thailand..such a desert island its name means Island of Sandbars. (Ko Phangan its called.)

I clicked again to make sure my phone was synching correctly. That there was no mistake. Nope it was true. My pain was real. I stared white-faced at the empty stenciled-heart blankness. Not one like. Not one heart. Nary a comment. Nada. I had posted on Instagram and Facebook a screenshot of an alert I got offering to “manage my data and searches” when I’m using private browsers. Another way Google AKA “The Circle” was closing in on us. It was funny, smart, informative. No-one appreciated it. No-one cared. Everyone hates me.

My ego, gently bruised, recovered with my next post that got a few likes. But likes are never enough! I want comments. Discourse. Is this the mad mind of an addict? Have I become addicted to social media? Does everyone go through this?

Whatever the case, I needed to stop the madness. The distraction. The ego-yelps for attention. The time wasting of surreal and virtual informing, loving and liking. Facebook, Instagram and the others are the weapons of mass attention getting destruction. And I would have no more of it for the rest of my vacation. I had shared Paris, returning to my life in London in the 80’s and so on…but it was time to live uninterrupted by click, post, share, click, like….and the like, dare I say.

During my 16 day three continent trip around the world, I had been trying …but failing…to finish a heartbreaking work called “The Circle” by that staggering genius: Dave Eggers. (I love that last sentence!) Its about a young woman, Mae, who I imagined being played by Jodie Foster (but I gather Emma Watson will have to do) joining a Apple-Google-Facebook kindof behemoth company that links together commerce, social media, transparency, body cameras on all of us, law enforcement and predicted in the fiction’s future….a closing of the “Circle”…the government and its control of all the previously mentioned.

My doppelgänger (or am I his doppelgänger?) Mr. Hanks plays one of the villains running the Company. And so with my interest (let alone my penchant for Eggers’ writing), you would think I’d have read it speedily like I did Isaac Oliver’s brilliant book “Intimacy Idiot” or Andy Cohen’s first fantastic book: read both in one sitting. Being completely on vacation and not reading any work emails …you’d think would expedite my speed reading. Nope. I had too many “likes” to count and inventory. Too many comments to read….and write. Too many Daily Mail articles to share with my 1,200 friends (about half of whom I’ve never met). My social media life was bubbling out of control. I couldn’t stop for a minute to finish the heavy book I was lugging around the world. What was wrong with me?!

In The Circle, Mae (Jodie Foster in my head) climbs the ladder at the Company very quickly and when in a particular self-doubting work crisis, she logs onto her computer to post, like, share and she then feels better and calmer …like with Valium….or Xanax….or… Her corporate and personal value (priced in points and even dollars!) gets higher numbers the more socially active she is. The more “zings” she gets and sends out…the better she will feel…the better she will be. Hmmmmmm. Maybe the books alarm bells about our social media-laden world made it hard to finish.

A related note: One of the best inspirational speakers I’ve ever heard…a guy named Sarge Pickman, shared a theory last year to me which I think is true. That the under 30 generation heroin and Oxy addicts seem to be having a tougher time getting out of the cycle of relapse because they are wired differently in the smartphone era, no less. Their sense of constant easily accessible entertainment and stimulation 24/7..sets them up for failure. Ever take an iPhone away from a 14 year old? That mushroom cloud is what the addict becomes when the heroin is taken away. I think Sarge is onto something. I wonder how many books active young heroin addicts actually read.

But back to my vacation-cum-intervention: As I continued to NOT read The Circle and follow Tom Hanks and Jody Foster/Emma Watson careen towards its surprise ending …the Circle (big picture of the book) was closing in on me: after buying online my ticket to Hong Kong… hopscotching home…I was soon inundated with ads about hotels and products and things to do in Hong Kong. The Circle didn’t know that I was whoring out HK for layover purposes only. I had to do something about the social media madness, so I held my own intervention.

So, for the last six days in Thailand I did something I had failed to do EVER. I stopped looking or posting or living or loving or liking on Facebook or Insty. Over and out. On August 9th at 8:18 PM Thailand time….I said goodbye to my friends, both virtual and real in a post, “I’ll miss you guys!” (Which by the by, only ONE person commented on on Instagram! Which devastated me for one second when I saw it a week later. Ok, maybe two seconds.)

So in the next six days I got so much done. I hiked or ran 11 miles a day. I paddle boarded. I swam. I kayaked. I fell in love with an Australian who I became friends with instead. I met wonderful local Thai people and a raft of Norwegians and Germans. I researched where I’d stay on the island next time. I climbed up onto a Longtail boat and went to a beach where there was no-one else. I met people…in real life…in the flesh. It was amazing! I talked. I listened. I liked and I loved…in person. It was a good refresher, indeed. And a great way to end a vacation by myself, no less. I took some notes that I published here as the Lost Tweets from Sandbar Island.

And, yes, I finished The Circle. Can’t wait for the movie. To remind me that its not real.