“You, my friend, definitely have ADHD…you might want to get checked, seriously, I’m not kidding, ” said Jimmy the counselor in my group therapy, in front of the entire group which at that moment felt like the whole world…like on CNN or Buzzfeed or something.  But it didn’t feel as bad like the time when Bill the counselor said, “You are most definitely an alcoholic,” which almost had me running from the room crying.  Actually, not almost.

I was in treatment for something far deeper and more serious that ADD or ADHD. So I buried this memory until a year and a half later when I finally went to see a psychiatrist….just a few weeks ago.  About being on an anti-depressant for the first time in my life, about two serious head injuries I had the last few years… About lying that I had suicidal thoughts so I could be admitted into rehab…  about thoughts that I might be a little crazy….you know, why else to go see a shrink?  Did I mention I was in rehab?   Anywho,  I was long overdue a simple psychiatric evaluation.  For the first time in my life.

Not five minutes with this doctor, he …with his extended hand almost covering my mouth…asks me to fill out and answer a list of questions.  By question fifteen, I begin to notice a trend and I had somehow missed the Top line heading: ”ADHD SCREENING QUESTIONNAIRE”.   As I was starting to fill out my answer to #16…he took my pencil away.  Looks like I already passed with flying colors. “You definitely have ADD/ADHD,”  he announced, almost giggling.  Yep, I got an A in ADD.

But there was a problem.  All medications for ADHD are stimulants, something I can’t ingest properly…or reasonably….or with any responsibility of any kind.  Lets just say giving me Adderall would be like giving a Butterfinger to a Kit Kat addict…or a Suzy Q to a Twinkie addict.   Except  there’s hope on the horizon. There is one non stimulant drug for ADHD called Strattera.

Now I only have taken medication for cholesterol and blood pressure in years past. Oh, and Ambien for sleep for ten years, which (with a couple other agents of mood-changing) helped pushed me into oblivion and that counseling group four paragraphs back.  Oh, and the painkillers…and the morphine drip after my surgery.  Never mind.  Focus, says Strattera!

So, these days, I pay very close attention to a drug and how it might effect me. After just one month, let me just share what has me scratching the OUTSIDE of my head, and gently caressing my little lovable healing bottle of 80 milligram Strattera pills.

This week …(starting on Sunday night and completed by Wednesday) I wrote and produced two important sweeps-worthy meaningful fully edited segments that do not air for several days. One of them a yearly ritual/feature that I have produced for 15 years….usually has me breathless and down to the wire…and finishing just a couple hours …or minutes before air.  Not this year.  I Vimeod it last night to my bosses.  That alone is Academy award worthy for Best  (Non Narcotic) Drug Induced Performance of a Television Producer Named Brian O’Keefe. Exciting news at the Dolby theatre in my head.

I’ve lost 8 pounds in a month while on this medication.  Three spinning classes in the same month do not eight pounds make…even though they outrageously cost 35 dollars each.  (Oooops, a Strattera flaw:  rampant tangents impulsively won’t die! )

“Could there be a connection, doc?”  You bet. It cuts down my impulses to snack and eat when I’m not hungry.  Ive had soup for dinner three nights this week!  Although the flight attendant on the plane I’m on just offered me a oven-warmed chocolate chip cookie and I didn’t stop that impulse…of yes.

I don’t check Facebook and Instagram as often as I used to.  Or my email.

Its like I got a frickin brain transplant.  After that rather sobering wake up call and life change last year, I generally have become a little less bitchy under pressure.  But still a work in progress.  But impulse seems to have cut back on my testosterone testiness.

But this experience has me puzzled at some of my ADHD behavior in the past. One of the tests questions flagged it to me:”Do you find yourself interrupting busy people?”   Of course, I did.

WHY????  why would I interrupt busy people.    When I’m really busy, do I need or want to be interrupted?  Worse: WHY did I for decades interrupt people who are talking TO ME when I should be listening and waiting for them to finish!?  Notice how Ive fully declared myself fully cured of being an OverTalker….after one month of a single bottle of pills!  Perhaps Im a bit high on Strattera.

So does this mean I’m cured of over-reacting?   Will I stop panicing…and second guessing others?   Over thinking? Hope so. I wonder if I had taken Strattera 30 years ago, would I be a bigger shot in television?   More successful.  Funnier. Smarter. Nicer.  Ok, I’ll stop (Thank you, Strattera) I think these questions are futile and stupid…because no matter what, looking back and wondering about anything past is so not forward thinking.

But I’ll bet you anything.  I think this blog is about to become a book a lot faster.